He told me they were just razor bumps!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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