The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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