dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
