I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
