i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's official drugs can't kill me
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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