Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You ate ashes out of my bong
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
