she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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