Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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