Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
