How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
