i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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