Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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