sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
