the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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