just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize