We need to rekindle our bromance
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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