Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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