I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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