i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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