You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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