if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
