so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
