Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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