Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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