If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
