Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
