is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
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