Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
