my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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