Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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