i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My penis needs a shock collar
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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