It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
