is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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