i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
