They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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