I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
