Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
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