I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
