I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
