last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
