Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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