Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
