Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
