as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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