At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
