You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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