so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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