Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
