Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize