Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
