i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize