I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize