you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
