i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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