I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
someone owes me an orgasm
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
