I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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